Online dating is super popular now, as our lives are so busy and the cost of living is increasing, so we don’t necessarily have the time/energy/funds to meet someone in a more traditional way. Throwing yourself into the mature dating scene (or general dating scene – especially after choosing to stay single or after a long term relationship) can be extremely daunting. Everyone has their preferences, which is an important thing to remember when you are looking to date.
Stop making excuses! Open your heart!
Come on people, we all deserve to be happy. Dating and relationships aren’t everything, you can find happiness elsewhere. Give yourself a chance to experience the world of dating. We are all guilty of making excuses, such as “Now just isn’t the right time” or “I’ll start looking once I’ve lost some weight”. I know it sounds cliché, but don’t fall into the trap of not giving someone a chance because they don’t have what they must have (in your mind) to date you. Give yourself and others a chance to make a connection, as finding someone who makes you laugh can be more important than a person’s height, for example.
Establish what exactly you are looking for
Once you have figured this out, be sure to explain exactly what you are looking for on your dating profiles. Sometimes this can be extremely obvious as the dating app/website may be for a specific niche of dating, but on most dating apps and websites you will need to make it as clear as you can. Be sure to put in writing what you are looking for both short term and long term, so that it is crystal clear. One option could be to date people different to your usual type, as this can be where people sometimes go wrong when dating – always going for the same type and it ends sourly or fizzles out, etc. Your usual type hasn’t made you happy in the past, so there is little chance they will make you happy now.
Get yourself signed up to relevant dating websites and/or apps
Once you have established what exactly it is that you are seeking, get yourself registered on the most relevant dating apps and websites. As previously mentioned, having what you are looking for explained in writing can be super helpful and make the dating process a little smoother. You can search specific to your location and preference (e.g. mature dating), such as meet mature women near me, to bring up websites such as singleandmature.
Ask your friends if they know anyone who they can set you up with
This could be a disaster, but it could also work out well for you. You will never know until you give it a try. If it does go badly, use it as a learning curve and you might end up learning about something you do/don’t want in a potential partner, e.g. you may decide you want to focus on mature dating, or date someone younger than you.
Self care is important, also
The whole dating experience can be a variety of things, but usually overwhelming and/or exhausting. Look after yourself and put yourself first. It’s important to take a bit of a break if you feel some self care and time to focus on yourself is needed. By doing this and giving yourself some attention, you will feel refreshed and ready to date again in no time.
Dating and relationships are supposed to be fun! Yes, you will probably get some anxiety or nervous before a date, or feel like you want to cancel, but try to push through those barriers. You will meet new and interesting people, everyone has a story – your job is to find out what their story is. Enjoy yourself and most importantly, put your happiness first.
You may even surprise yourself, whether it’s by discovering you are searching for something or someone specific such as mature dating, or gaining new confidence by trying things out of your comfort zone. Please remember, always stay safe (check out my post about staying safe and online dating here) and if you are meeting someone who you’ve met online, it’s best to let someone you trust know exactly where you are and have them on stand-by if required.